I have a very good friend, and for the sake of this post, I'm gonna name him Ecirb. He self identifies as a white heterosexual male who is in his upper 30's. How he grew up is very important to who he is and his current situation, but that doesn't matter in the context of this discussion because he looks like a white guy. He is an Ethnic Studies Major and I am proud to say that he is a social justice advocate, not that I'm the end all to determining who is and isn't an advocate.
Him and I talk about many things, but recently our discussion has been centered around the perception of white people in general social justice spaces. Just a warning, this is a very multi-layered, complex, and difficult situation to deconstruct, but I am going to try. In addition, I'm not saying that Ecirb's situation applies to all white hetero males in social justice but I think there are very important lessons to be drawn from his experience.
These are a small sampling of some of his experiences as best as I can recall them, and I will try to be as objective as possible since these are "facts" according to Ecrib. These experiences are very important in deconstructing the role of white hetero men in social justice:
- There is a lobby area for Ethnic Studies students that contains a couch and computers. It is a wonderful space to congregate and talk about social justice issues and class since it is a relatively small department. Ecirb tells me that when he is alone with one of his friends (in this case it happens to be a woman of color (WoC), she is open and very interested in what he has to say and very involved in the conversation. But when other's walk in, she becomes aloof, almost as if she doesn't know him.
- One time, he walked into the room with a friend of his who appears to be a black hetero male and there was the buzz of conversation. When he walks in, the room goes quiet and Ecrib's friend says "He's cool" and points to Ecrib.
- He feels ignored in class. Or most of his comments are met with resistance. Or people quickly dismiss his comment.
- He is very up-front with his opinions. If you are being a bigot, he will say it to your face because that's how he deals with it.
There is one thing that I make clear to him every time this conversation comes up. No matter WHO he is, the fact that he APPEARS to be a white male makes it very difficult to operate within a social justice environment. I constantly tell him that his phenotype conjures up for most people of color (PoC) an ENTIRE LIFETIME of negative experiences and that is something he cannot help and must overcome. I think he gets that, but it is also easy to forget such a privilege to be able to walk around and not have to worry about how your very physical appearance is enough to incite painful experiences.
The consequence of this is that he must prove himself. He has to work harder to be legit or make friends in this department. He has no issue with the fact that he has to work harder, and neither do I. This is the consequence of centuries of oppression: that excellent people such as Ecirb must work hard to become basic friends with excellent people such as the PoC in the Ethnic Studies Department. It becomes extremely problematic for me when some of the PoC and some white women (WW) DON'T GIVE HIM A CHANCE to prove himself. I understand that it's safer to assume the worst with white people. It's a safety mechanism. I do it too. But to shut out people like Ecirb and to suppress/ignore what he has to say is detrimental to everyone.
In fact, not giving Ecrib a chance GOES AGAINST WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING FOR. Ending the isms will take every individual, and it is counter-productive and ignorant to exclude anyone on the basis of what they look like. Take the hint people! He's majoring in Ethnic Studies in his late 30's. Maybe he knows more about bigotry then you do just from how much longer he's been alive? Maybe so, maybe not, but he said he was used to getting treated this way and it wasn't until recently that the full weight of what he's facing really hit him.
This is a very careful balance though. I took me a long time to realize that I HAVE to give white people a chance to prove themselves, but white people have to understand that it is an uphill battle to prove themselves. And just like some white people aren't worth talking to because they're SO STUPID AND RACIST, some PoC and WW are the same way. You do not have to prove yourself to these people because there is nothing you could say or do to change their mind.
One other criticism I have is that I don't feel like any PoC's have his back. Like there's a social consequence to defending a white guy. How about you defend your FRIEND??
I don't do this enough, but I need to remind Ecirb that he needs to stay humble. No one is asking him to lead us out to the promise land. In fact, he CAN'T be a predominant leader in a social justice movement because of his identity. This space is for PoC and to some small extent WW. He can support but he can't lead. That invokes the White Savior Complex. White male arrogance will get him thrown off the boat and ruin his credibility.
On the other hand, he needs to realize that the real work to be done isn't with a community of PoC, but his responsibility is in a community of white people in respect to race, men in respect to gender, and straight people in respect to sexual orientation. He has the advantage in those spaces. This is where his privilege of credibility can be used to his/our advantage. These are spaces where he can be a leader.
There is much work to be done in both groups. The social justice movement needs to get its shit together just as much as white people do. We all have room to learn and grow.
So what's in it for white people? I have my theories... But I want to hear yours.
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